I just had a brilliant idea.

February 25th, 2009

It’s probably been done, but check this out.

Sometime in the 90’s some new band put out an album with a one hit wonder hit on it, I think it was ugly kid joe.

For their second album, most other bands would have disappeared, but these guys were smart, they did a remake of cats in the cradle, which became their popular song and video for their second album, and of course were never heard from again.

Anyway, here’s a similar idea:

For your killer song on your first album, you take out a savage loan and hire somebody like slash or angus from ac/dc to play on your song, somebody really famous, you can gain notoriety just for that, and that’s all you need to get one popular song famous, then just ride the single, t-shirts and download wave until you lose favor.

Hopefully you’d make enough to pay off the loan.

My little lost luggage story.

February 25th, 2009

I was away on vacation last week and on the way back the nice airline saw fit to lose one of our two checked bags.

You gotta wonder. We checked two identical bags at the exact same time, one ended up in Newark (correctly) albeit one flight before I did (I thought they instituted some rule that you had to fly with your luggage) and the other, they lost.

But all is NOT lost, I got a call from a nice lady in …. you guessed it… Toronto saying they found my bag.  With no flight tag on it.

It got me thinking…

A long time ago when I worked at the finance department at rockland community college, I was told by my supervisor that if I got a phone call that I didn’t know how or didn’t want to deal with, I should transfer the call to the records department. This made for lots of happy customers. (I eventually got wise, and rather than piss off the people right down the hall in the records department, I transferred people to international studies on the other side of campus.)

I’m imagining some bag mover guy who got hold of our bag and saw no luggage tag and didn’t want to deal with it so he just put it on the next plane headed out.

There’s no way the bag would have gone from Charlotte NC to Toronto without a little help.

Figure they have a process to deal with lost luggage, why should the bag mover guy deal with it.

The “Don’t fill up on soda” diet

February 24th, 2009

I just got back from a cruise where you can eat as much food as you want. 24 hours a day for 7 days.

I figured for one week I can give up on trying to lose weight and go back to it when I get home.

For an additional $40, you can also drink as much soda as you want, 24 hours a day for 7 days.

So I came up with the “Don’t fill up on soda” diet.

When I was a kid my mom would always tell me not to fill up on soda before dinner because then I won’t have an appetite for actual food. But I realize now as I get older, this is a brilliant form of diet.

If you fill up on soda before you eat, you won’t eat as much actual food.

Now of course soda has plenty of calories itself, but it certainly is more filling per calorie than any non liquid food.

I’ll let you know how it works out.

How weird is that.

February 13th, 2009

By now, if you’re a geek you know that later today is 1234567890 in unix time.

Fri Feb 13 18:31:30 2009 to be exact.

But I figured that decimal patterns are meaningless in unixland, so I was going to see what else was interesting that was coming up.

Well, 1234567890 is 0x499602D2 in hex. Hey, that’s pretty close to 0x50000000 so, let’s see what that is:

Fri Jul 13 07:01:20 2012

I don’t expect anything interesting to happen on the 0x50000000 second, but isn’t it interesting that they’re both friday the 13th?

0x60000000 is Thu Jan 14 03:25:36 2021

0x70000000 is Wed Jul 18 01:49:52 2029

Not much interesting there.

On the origin of Darwin

February 9th, 2009

It’s almost darwin’s 200th birthday, and reading articles about his fame made me realize something.

In the previously mentioned book Ishmael, it’s pretty obvious that man is not the culmination of evolution. It’s the point at which evolution created a being that is self aware can make computers and read bogs.

At some point, the humans will kill themselves off and nature can go back to evolving the way it did before we showed up.

So if you think about it, there’s a long highway on which time goes by and things evolve, and we, the humans, are a pitstop. We mess things up, we kill other species and don’t evolve naturally (“Society killed darwin.”)

So after we’re done with our lunch at the pitstop, the humans will go away, and the trip on the highway will continue again leading to something even greater than ourselves.

For the next generation of intelligent beings will be able to look back and see that we were here and took ourselves out of the gene pool.

Java and Websphere

February 6th, 2009

A long time ago I met a guy from IBM who explained to me that sun invented java because at the time hardware was getting cheaper and cheaper and faster and faster, and soon you’d be able to buy a dell for $200 that would run all the current day software rather well.

Java fixed that alright.

Today I heard about Websphere 6 introducing the concept of “Core Groups” and I realize that Websphere is IBM’s solution to the same problem.

One way to avoid the excesses of the banks that take our money.

February 4th, 2009

I just had this neat idea.

Everybody’s all mad about the 50 million dollar jet that citibank ordered despite all the handouts they’re getting from the government.
That and all the bonuses being paid to retain the best talent (you know, the ones that lost us all of our money, that talent.)

Well, I have a really simple solution.

The banks beg for money, the government comes up with some dollar amount that they’re willing to give to a given bank. Then, somebody from the government goes through the books of said bank and tallies up all the excesses.
Who’s to decide what the excess is? The government. It is after all their (our) money.

They tally up all the jets and bonuses and company funded weekend jaunts and subtract that from the agreed amount they were going to give to the bank.

Then the bank can decide whether to go out of business or to sell the jet.

And if they can keep the jet and stay in business, obviously the government gave them too much money to begin with. They can take note of that for next time.

We can’t put a man on the moon

January 19th, 2009

It occurred to me a number of years ago that we americans no longer possess the ability to put a man on the moon. And have them come back and still be alive.

Why? Because in the good old days mechanical designs and machinery were simpler. They operated on more basic scientific prinicipals and a LOT of resources were dumped into making it work.

Nowadays if anybody was tasked with getting a man on the moon, they’d use off the shelf parts, plug them into each other, skip over a lot of the basic rigorous end-to-end testing and while it should all work, it would not. Some part would fail, some badly written software would not handle an error condition correctly.

If we were to use the same design plans as we did in the 60’s we could make it work, but nobody in their sane mind would do that nowadays. We’ve come so far. We have computers and better alloys and greater understanding of space, certainly there would be shortcuts to take.

There’s no law of physics that says space travel has to be as easy as the movies make it out to be, and it’s not. You have to do a lot of over engineering if you don’t want something to fail. Given the money that would be available, and the culture of cutting corners to make it cheaper, I am pretty certain that a manned mission to the moon would fail.

I’m a software programmer by trade and I see how it is in my industry. Nobody dies when email is not delivered, nobody’s hand gets chopped off if an error message shows up on the screen. But in space travel, there’s not a lot of room for error, unless you overengineer a lot, and that wouldn’t happen.

There would be a lot of software on any spaceship made nowadays and it would have lots of buggy software on it.

Certainly you’ve heard the story about the ship that went sailing into mars (I think it was mars) because one group did specs in metric and another group used english units? And nobody talked to each other? That wasn’t even a software failure, all the software was correct. That was a project management failure.

Certainly plenty of those to be had in such a complex project as a manned moon mission.

Here’s another example I came across today. Remember the TRS-80 model 100? It was a little portable computer built in 1983, it ran on 4 AA batteries, and had a full qwerty keyboard. It had a little word processor built in (among other things) and you could do your typing for 6-8 hours on on set of 4 AA batteries.

Nowadays, we have laptops that require lots more battery and don’t last nearly as long because they’re ‘better’.  Basically, we can no longer in 2009 do what we did in 1983.

Banks can open and fail, but they can not close.

January 5th, 2009

I had this neat thought today.

Like everything else in the world, banks are expected to live forever. Because really, the earth is going to exist forever, and so are humans in general and if individual people die, well they can hand off their interest in assets and whatnot to the next generation, but the people will always be there.

The sun is never going to burn out, we’ll never overpopulate the planet, all these things will keep going on forever.

But banks are interesting. Banks create money.

I’ve never started a bank or any other business, but I expect it works something like this:

A group of people take out a loan or hit up some venture capitalists for money to open a retail outlet and hire some people and get carpeting, and have some extra cash left over to lend out as starting money.

People off the street open savings accounts where they get 1% on their deposits, and the bank lends out some number times the amount of deposits and charges 5-10% for use of their money.

Except of course they don’t have that money, the created it.

So as long as the bank does okay, and there’s no runs on the bank everything works fine. This has been going on for hundreds of years at thousands of banks.

But what if you wanted to close your bank. You can’t. In order to close your bank, you’d have to collect all the money you loaned out and give back all the money that was deposited.

Unless you have enough profit to cover giving back all the money in the savings accounts, or plan years ahead so that you stop giving out new loans and wait for them all to come due, you can’t close your doors.

You can, however fail. The FDIC makes it easy, just run your business badly, you go into bankruptcy and the FDIC bails out all your depositors and worries (or not) about the outstanding loans due.

Toothpaste

January 4th, 2009

Why is it that all the toothpaste makers  that I’ve seen always think they’re getting one over on us. I’ve noticed without fail (though I can’t say I’ve tried every toothpaste in my life) that when you first open the tube and squeeze, some toothpaste comes out, but behind it is a lot of air.

I can imagine some kind of excuse about leaving room for pressure equalization based on the packaging plant and your house being at different altitudes, but somehow I don’t think so.

I think they just want to give you less product in a bigger package.

They’re not fooling me. I know it’s a conspiracy.